I was chatting to Shell (Stoma In A Teacup) yesterday morning well as I do most mornings to be honest, and she said something that stuck with me and inspired this post actually. Her exact words were “I wish I could be of help. I said to another spoonie friend today that it’d be great if we all lived in a spoonie town, we’d never be short of help and support.” Thus created SPOONIEVILLE
It got me thinking if I could have all of my spoonie friends in one place what would I have there? What would it look like? I actually found it quite easy to think about what I would want so here are a few things that are important to me.
First and foremost I would have my floppy eared dickhead Jenson back, we had to re-home our amazingly idiotic cutie pie in February. Being a Newfoundland he just always wanted attention and that had been fine but I was struggling badly at the time and we didn’t have a date for my surgery at this point. He wasn’t being cared for in the daytime as well as I had been able to before I started deteriorating quickly.
I would have Donna and Louise as my next door neighbours because they are my best friends. Also in my street I would have Lauren, Shell, Mary, Jess and Jasmine, we would all have the best street parties EVER.
I don’t know why but I like circles and Spoonieville would probably look a lot like a crop circle from above ha ha. So in the middle I would have a playground that changed to suit the weather and age of the children playing (I don’t care about being far fetched and things being incredulous) For instance if it was bucketing it down it would change to a soft play. It would also have some kick ass, futuristic safety features too so you didn’t have to worry about them and it would let you know when they were ready to come home, hungry etc.
I would abolish rent, council, tax, water, gas and electric because it always adds more stress on me when I’m poorly whether I can afford to take time off or if I can afford these bills. But everything else you would have to pay for but personally I would be rich if I didn’t have those bills so I wouldn’t care about paying for other things like sky, internet etc.
We would have a specialist hospital if we were to need it, with doctors, surgeons and nursing staff who were paid properly and actually were good at their job (unfortunately we’ve all met one jerk off right, happens in any job too mind) There would also be an amazing school with no bullying and super supportive (and again paid accordingly) teachers. A decent supermarket that barely sold junk food, everything would be fresh, seasonal and healthy, even if it was pre-made it wouldn’t be full of shit.
Lauren could have this huge paddock for her horses and for any other weirdo (I’m terrified of horses sorry, it would be boring if we were all the same right?) who loves them or would want to ride them as I was once told they are therapeutic yet I’m still going nowhere near!! Donna would be the perfect landlady for the pub, if you have met her you will understand she is just perfect so bubbly and friendly. Although no lifting barrels for you missus!! Jasmine can have an elegant fashion studio to design all her lovely lingerie (watch this space) Shell could have a roller derby rink and my Louise would be able to have the vets as she is training to be a vet and she also does dog shows.
But above all having all the people that understand would just be amazing, I would be able to help out on the days I felt great and someone else didn’t and vice versa. What would you want in your Spoonieville?